So i've just booked an endocrinology workup... and i'm terrified, no joke.
Let me first say that the worst thing about dysautonomia is not the nausea or the headaches or the limitations that come with it (though those are certainly significant, and probably win second worst) -- it's the lack of knowledge about it. And with that lack of knowledge comes an overabundance of testing, because they want to know evvvvvverything.
This new appointment has me shaking in my boots because (a) it is an all day affair. Literally 8 am to 4 pm, and i'm allowed no food or medicines. (b) It is an unknown variable. i have never been to an endocrinologist, and i have no idea what sort of fresh hell it will bring. i probably have approximately a million blood draws to look forward to, which is unfortunate since my veins are just ridiculously tiny. (No, really... the phlebotomist who moonlights at a detox center says they're worse than crack addict's, and my cardiologist, whose specialty is infants, says they're worse than a newborn's. Joy oh rapture.) And i keep telling myself it can't possibly be thaaaaat bad, but i've been proven wrong so many times it's not even funny.
On top of it all, i'm reacting to the Midodrine, and so they want to put me on fludrocortisone... which i do not want to do. (Honestly, i'm dangerously close to a temper tantrum over this whole carousel of meds thing...) And my cardiologist wants to see me before that happens, which is ridiculous -- why do i have to travel an hour out to her to discuss medicine? The phone was invented several decades ago. Call me and save me the two days of subsequent exhaustion, please. Especially because i won't be on any meds at the time.
And now i have an entire month of anxiety to add to everything else. i woke up two hours ago, but i think i need a nap =( Especially before this gets any more rant-y than it already is.
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